Without further ado, and with apologies to consultants offering law school applications advice, I hereby present my "Top 10 Not So Red Hot Tips for Your Law School Applications":
1. Never, ever make a reference to, "My Cousin Vinny" in your law school application personal statement. Even if you loved the movie.
2. Do not slip a $50 dollar bill in with your application packet, in the hopes of getting an "edge" on the competition.
3. Do not minimize your shortcomings. Law school acceptance committees will see right through this- e.g. it was "only three felonies" or "the gun wasn't actually loaded."
4. Do not inadvertently give the impression that you want to go to law school for "secondary" reasons, i.e. "because I'm hoping law school will distract me from my kleptomania."
5. Do not attempt to rationalize your poor LSAT score by saying, "I don't have to prove anything to anybody, including you."
6. Do not make any references to "big bucks", "craving power" or wanting to "beat the system."
7. Do not include a link to your Facebook page, especially if it contains photos of you passed out in a toga.
8. Do not suggest that the school is anything other than your first choice, i.e. "Local U is not my 'safety' school. Harvard is my 'safety' school. Yale is my 'safety' school. No, you guys are my number one primo, first choice, 'dream' school (lol)".
9. Avoid "Twitterspeak", i.e. "OMG IMAO Ima abousta git inna Local U fo shizzle." In fact, I would suggest you avoid pretty much anything but the King's English.
10. If you express altruistic reasons for wanting to go to law school, do so very carefully. Good: "I want to help people." Bad: "This school will look really good with that new wing I plan to fund after I win my first Vioxx class action."
Kidding aside, heartfelt thanks to those of you who went to the trouble in 2009 of reading "Law School Labyrinth- A Guide to Making the Most of Your Legal Education (Kaplan Publishing, 2009). And hugs and kisses to those of you who took the time to let me know that the book helped you. I hope all of your dreams come true, especially as they relate to law school and legal careers.
If you are just starting the process, hang in there. It's intimidating, but you can do. If you want it bad enough, you will get into law school. You will become a lawyer. You just will.